My sister and grandsons walked through tall grass and over an electric fence and stared down at the 'after' of a calves birth. I had seen a dot of white from the house earlier in the day and asked Dean if it was a calf and he said he thought so then later we saw two bald eagles at that very spot. The calf walked off with it's mother Dean said. But I hadn't seen this and I know I can always take Dean at his word but I needed to see for myself why the eagles had scared off the vultures and were intent on something in the grass. Before I left the house to see we watched from the window a cow run at one of the eagles and chase it away. The cow turned back and ran at the other eagle which flew and then landed not far away. The cow went on it's way then. And that's when I went out into the field.
My sister said, I can't believe you are touching it. But I had to; this amazing mass of veins and sinew and clear fluid and coagulated blood, I wanted to feel it; this which rested in the middle section of a cow and in it life grew; life that a moment after it was born was up on it's feet.
My grandson touched it and with his camera took photos of it. My sister said she would have liked to have touched it but she wasn't brave enough, she said this after we were back at the house and telling the others.
It wasn't that I was braver I realized, it was because of the chickens; I don't want to be separated from what is so close to me. The soft warmth of the chicken's body that I feel through it's feathers, their breath I hear against my ear as one snuggles against my neck. I don't want to just look anymore I want to feel.